aka (*) "solved the transplant, what other problems can we invent?"
I thought a couple of minutes if it was right to write in a blog thing about my family from a perspective that I have not quite intimate nearly-if ever-wrote: my wife, his moods and our relationship. I have written for the vast majority of things related to my illness, personal feelings and sensations, rather than technical articles that I have "designed" as a patient who is concerned too much of the medical details. The reality is that I started to blog aimlessly: I just wanted to leave a trace of a patient on the waiting list for a transplant that lives its hold. Of course at that time did not know how it would end. I went on for several months writing in a disordered feelings, moods, and the results of some research on waiting lists, medications, etc..
My life has changed! I am reborn! I make plans for the future, I want to spend more time with my wife, my children. I want to enjoy the pleasure of living with them. The ad, write it! Now, 40 days after transplantation, are Tradate in a rehabilitation center, but with a little 'luck in ten days, maybe fifteen, what do you say, Mr. P.? - I'll be home and we can start this new location.
And here we see a new problem. Passed the most critical moment in recent months, my wife is giving up day after day. After being very well able to lead the family alone during my absence from home for the past four months-and-three babies are not few, for about a week does no more than live their days with anxiety, stress, depression, sadness, bitterness.
His reasons: he went back to work, but work did not comply, it loses too much time. For more now schools started again, so there are more pressing commitments, time closer. The big baby busy with football, other than a nuisance ... And you feel weak, tired all the time ... And I
here, locked in Tradate 15 days longer than expected because of an antiviral medication that I take two times a day ... but I'm sorry, what are 15 days compared to all the sacrifices we have experienced in recent months? The worst is over! CAN NOT give up when you are arrival so close!
But she, in myopia and dullness with which you see the future, have already forgotten all the promises we have made-especially those that I did-or maybe not if they have already forgotten, but he does not believe more .
has reached the point: my dear wife, you're putting the cart before the horse! You're problems by asking about our future before I can show you that in my new life (the one I called "corNovum"), I can give more, I can be more involved, I can help more with the kids and you can spend more time to yourself, but also more time together, to be happier!
So arrogant and almost mean, I use my little space to vent and to ask you to be patient, to give me at least the possibility of returning to family, to believe in our possibilities, in our projects. We can be a happy family, but we must do together. I do not give up now! Do you think it is easy for me? What is a life of absolute safety? Just because now I can make 5 flights of stairs below a first course or to eat without my stomach hurt, or drinking two liters of water a day without choking?
We will not be an easy life. No one has ever said. We know for some time. Until two months ago I had a short life expectancy and suffering. Now that the Lord gave us this grace, we believe in the future and continue to do our best for our family.
not hate me for having so brazenly put these issues on the blog. I could not do on the phone. You came to visit with children in Tradate last Saturday and it was not easy. I'm tired, I cried with emotion. Perhaps you expected more from me in some sort of certainty. This morning I called you, I wanted to tell you the result of my stress test, and you were pissed off because the train was late, and had lost two hours to go to work ... each with its own short-sightedness, with its problems.
Maybe that's why taking advantage of my blog. Why I vent, with the approval (?) of those few that I read. I do not want the approval of anyone, I do not want comments like "you're right, you have to get by Sandra, you have to do it, you are a wonderful family," and so on.
Again, I wrote this article so absolutely selfish, coerce the family and especially yours. But I hope that this freedom that I've got this thing that I have dared to do, make you understand what I believe in this and with what force you asking us to believe too, and give me the opportunity to demonstrate that we can be a family happier than we were until yesterday.
you, dear readers, I apologize ... Read and be quiet! Approved or criticized in silence.
only one aspect of my wife's comment:
"Dear Mauri, you're right. I am responding incorrectly. I promise to wait for calm and believe in our future. I love you like I know you love me.
Sandra. "
(*)" aka "for the uninitiated, is an Anglo-Saxon word which means" Also known as "(also known as"). The sense is that I could name it after this post as "solved the transplant, what other problems can we invent?"
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