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Cor novum aequalis new life?

... well, a new heart invariably leads to a new life?

I returned home to fourteen days. During my months in hospital, especially in the period after the date of the transplant, I have promised and promised many things.

Exit transplant and you feel powerful. If you managed to survive the disease, intervention, and come out unscathed, or even "cured", you think you can, and at the same time have the right to do just about anything. Nothing is unattainable. "will change jobs, I will only do things that I like, I unravel everything that does not satisfy me. I will clear to people. No obligations, no compromises. I start from scratch, I reset everything, because:

cor novum = (aequalis) new life

... is almost obvious. I can do ... "

Far from it. You're going home, and you realize that you have not been magically catapulted into a new life. You are always yourself." Same house, same job, same commitments .. . The time in hospital, "traveling" at a different speed. so long seemed to me five months away, how fast are passed in reality.

The neighbors, parents my children fill me with compliments, which also seem to appreciate it because I honest- "six tornatooo, I find beneee, complimentiii ..." after which falls under the normal. Rightly so. The new life is not a vested right. Let's say your forced break and your physical condition are refurbished * * as an excuse to create a new one.

normal life ... with the computer ...

the field working, I thought I had sketched out projects to develop better in the last two months of this year, also the fact aprofittando that are currently off sick and therefore do not have to go to my old job. Now that I'm in the real world, however, seems anything but simple ...

normal life ... family gathered in front of the tv ...

With my wife we \u200b\u200bhad promised to take us as soon as a few days of total escape from our world: leave the kids at home with his grandmother and go somewhere alone to find ourselves. Impossible. It has been two weeks and if they have not even spoken. It 'hard to shake off activities daily. Among the limitations of the first month after transplantation (Food & Environmental Hygiene), per visit (every 15 days, twice in Milan) and other daily commitments (children, school, work, home, through arrears) is difficult to to organize even a weekend out of the newspaper.

normal life ... in the kitchen ...

And last but not least, I am also slightly embarrassing to you, my dear readers. I was convinced that with my new life I had enough material to keep your network (blogs, Twitter and Facebook). Yesterday I wrote in my FB profile: "Maurizio Oliveri is considering what to do with his blog ... the return to normal life and relatively flat preclude the ability to write interesting things?" . The problem is that-is-sad to say but I have nothing more to tell. I do not have to tell my stories to the hospital (thank goodness!) But I'm not even doing anything so special that it deserves a few words on a blog, let alone your time to read. See, for me going to bring my children to school can be a great thrill, an important goal that I could reach, but as an asset in itself a father family action is absolutely normal and does not deserve comments and thoughts ...

normal life ... children with clowns ...

said all that, I do not want to imply that they are not absolutely satisfied with how things went. Hardly could have been better. The operation that I underwent gave me the opportunity to continue to live my life. I feel fairly (fairly good, and better day by day), I returned with my family and all of this I am eternally grateful .

normal life ... with children returning from school ...

But now that the problem has been fixed and are back to normal, I have to cope with the things that my original plan and do not know if I'll be able to do so. Perhaps all that courage, that strength of character that I have given does not exist. Probably it was only a spirit of survival and self-defense, which allowed me to survive the wait for the new heart, both physically and psychologically.

normal life ... I get the kids to trick or treat "Halloween

maybe I expect too much. I must be content with what I have-which is definitely not little. " On the other hand I always say to Sandra "there is no perfect family" . There is no perfect husband, nor a perfect wife. There is no perfect place to live, work, do their own projects. Are we satisfied with the standards? What we can or should claim to our lives?

And as if these existential questions is not enough, how do I solve the problem of oily skin that I find myself to be when I take 15 milligrams per day of cortisone??

we will ponder some more, 'even as I watch the episode of X Factor tonight, lying in Latvia with my dear!

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Five Stones In My Pocket And I cling to them in hand

I have five stones in his pocket
and keep them close at hand.

Back and forth I think of the unnecessary words
lost like stones into a lake

now ... missing ...

words come back after years
a cycle now lived

... absolute ...

Five years have passed.

I leaned his head bowed, on this pointless remake
I still remember my profile see the horizon from the boat

I'm tired, but I still ... because the dream is long gone and I have to rest
to dream again in this world.

Long months alone in this land border between the rocks, the sea and the pinewood.
Intent to mix the five stones in his pocket ... many years in the mind.
Now I return, I am now ready to draw, read and rewrite
these four months slipped slowly.

not I know if I understood, accepted and decided
... but I know now I can go without

... run away ...

Freedom, welcome back you know you've been waiting

Four months of memories, a life that I lived and thought in vain departure
bartered a present that does not exist, superficial and inconclusive.

A flower remains so, even when it is wilted
no matter how thou hast grown.
But you can accompany with other flowers and other smiles ...

The absolute madness, lies, utopia

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Dancing On Life

This is a miracle

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161 days

Tuesday, 12 were returned home! From May 3 to October 12, are exactly 161 days!

The return was fantastic! Especially for the warmth you have given me my family: my children and my wife. I am delighted to be back home. Obviously we all have to get used to my presence again.

For the kids there could be a bad thing, because I'm * much * more severe (and nuisance) to my wife ... "Alessio do not jump on the bed, Diego does not put your feet on the table, Matthew pick up the stuff from the ground. And then, do not shout, do not run, never mind, not dirty, come and go ..." My wife takes them, but certainly leaves more space. Views are slightly different but both good. And then they complement well. However, children are not in this particular case, I am unable to appreciate the presence of my father-man-pea-tailed joking with them, make them play, accompanies them and shoots them from school, take them to training, etc.. I finally feel physically able to share these tasks with my wife. Two is definitely more balanced whole. While one does something the other is committed in the other. It seems a trivial conversation, but until we have to experience it first hand, we do not appreciate fully how much each parent has an important role, especially in the family.

To my wife the "reunification" has been very positive, but unfortunately there have been some frictions and misunderstandings that I hope we manage to polish and to eliminate over time. We are different characters and it is not easy to go back to living together after all this time lived in two worlds with her weight, but also the autonomy-responsibility-to manage the entire family and home. I practically locked in a secure facility, where the most important decisions which were put shoes or to use the parrot to pee!

However, the important thing is that he returned home. The first and most important mission is successful! Now I must get to be a man and a better husband, not only physically through the heart that I was given-this is obvious-but also at the aptitude-this-a little less obvious, trying to be condescending and less pain in the ass on the little things that are absolutely insignificant, given the complexity of a lifetime.

For the moment, I also take back some satisfaction below with a freshly baked pizza bread with cheese and a nice birrozza :-))

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Life is a wonderful gift

Di Giovanni Amato and Maurizio Oliveri

read these few lines in the world has already happened all over: some laughs, who cries, who marries, who leaves, who was born and there is also dying. This is all part of life.

Some of the people affected by fate, whose life is irremediably finally has the opportunity to donate their organs, thus allowing more people in critical situations, to continue their lives.

Unfortunately when it comes to a state of "terminal" is no longer the conscience or the ability of consent. The desire to be a donor should be expressed in life when you are fully aware of this opportunity.

Why you should not donate? The campaigns against the donation is based on unscientific assumptions under which a person who donates organs, life is torn. Is killed. The reality of medical science tells us that patients who actually come to the donation, are in a state of death irreversible brain, kept alive artificially. Their brain is not able to respond individually.

Why not turn a tragedy into an opportunity to save someone? Think about it, let us pause to reflect.

turns death into a wonderful gift of life:
donate!

Maurizio Oliveri Born in Genoa on the Transplanted 18/08/2010 20/11/1970

John Amato was born in Catania on 05/09/1971 Transplanted the 02/09/2010

Donor ...

Giver ...

both made speeches at the Hospital Niguarda Ca 'Granda, Milan.

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Parallel Lives, the story of John and Maureen

to Me with Don Giovanni Gnocchi

In my blog, except for a few hints here and there, I have not yet talked about any person in my own terms, do not be fooled: there are many, too many ... I am in my career I have known several, each with their own situations, their problems, their stories to tell ...

But I will want to talk about a particular person: John Amato. John is my age (38 years) in Catania, who like me had been "parked" at the Don Gnocchi awaiting the arrival of a heart. Diseases similar but not identical (my dilated cardiomyopathy, hypertrophic his own) with different symptoms (I, still breathless and prone to the accumulation of fluid, he, with severe problems of tachycardia and fibrillation).

Maurice, Frank and John. All transplanted

John and I did not immediately linked. Indeed, for the first two weeks we were virtually ignored. We studied, such as when you cross two dogs sniff each one quickly, but then resumed his way ... Until one day thanks to Mary, his wife, we exchanged the first two words. From that moment it was easy, almost obvious, wire. Share experiences. Sharing fears. Sharing hope. John is a simple person, apparently a bit 'closed and shy, but full of genuine feelings. Together, day after day, we spent our stay at the Don Gnocchi, making power with each other. In my day 'no', optimism and comfort I received from him, in his days "no", offered him the my shoulder and gave me hope.

The thing that has donated more than that, is that from that moment we made a strikingly similar way: when I bring the Niguarda by Don Gnocchi (08/05/2010) John "inherited" my bedroom (he was in a double). I get the first alert for a heart (not successful) on 12/08.

From: Maurizio
A: John
Received: August 12, 2010 21:14

Hello dear yesterday with all the mess I have not written. At 15 they told me it was reporting good heart for me. I have prepared and 1:30 tonight I was told that unfortunately the heart had a problem (I got close to a miracle and this time I missed, but we are very optimistic.

From: John
A: Maurizio
Received: August 12, 2010 21:31
Too bad we hope that the next time lucky. These facts are not only negative, but serve to give us the position x to move forward we do understand that they are thinking of us, and as you say you become more optimistic. What a pity hello hello.

Relaxing moment

From: John
A: Maurizio
Received: August 15, 2010 20:20
Perhaps there is a chance of a heart, come get me, pray for me, hello

From: Maurizio
A: John
Received: August 15, 2010 20:25 Very
! I can not believe! Now I ask the nurse.

From: John
A: Maurizio
Received: August 16, 2010 6:50
Sucazzaminchi miseriazza by Huns and Misa, next time will be the right one. Hello in that room number six, I'm at 23, if we are in the same department I come to find.

John comes to see me in the room at the Niguarda, but in the afternoon is returned to the Don Gnocchi observation.

From: Maurizio
A: John
Received: 17 Aug 2010 15:16
Hello John, how's the morale? And the return to the Don Gnocchi everything ok? I'm now a bit 'better, I always messed up with the thirst for liquids (as opposed to hunger)!

John with me and my son Matthew

From: John
A: Maurizio
Received: August 17, 2010 16:14
Hello Maurizio, the Don Gnocchi I'm just better than the Niguarda xche 'I feel good but I had already mentioned it to you yesterday, I'm' slowly overcoming the blow now, subconsciously I think psychologically it happens today came the psychologist to see me and we talked a bit ', I found better, less depressed, perhaps as you say he does not understand a damn thing, I spent a strange night, I had bad dreams I felt tired and could not breathe, I did not understand if it was reality or not, this morning I feel good, hope it goes always the case. I'm glad you feel better, I'm sorry for thirst, I would prefer hunger. The Lord gave us these misfortunes xche 'we are stronger, more talented, more beautiful, more pleasant, for we are most appropriate, and we can overcome all this. A sucaminchiazza by miseriazza track slut Huns and Misa. Hello hello soon

He is called as "reserve" for a transplant on 15/08 (signaling not successful).

From: Maurizio
A: John
Received: August 17, 2010 16:36
Hello John! Beautiful your message, full of feelings, sincere and humorous. I'm glad to have known you even in this half that we share the tragedy. Please think about your family strong. We'll make it! You are GREAT respect you for your sincerity. I embrace you!

Big John playing with my son Matthew

On 17/08 I receive the second signal (the good one this time) and 18.8 days are transplanted. On the same day to 8.18 Giovanni was a difficult day, a series of ventricular fibrillation with the defibrillator in trouble, spending a few minutes nightmare-his story-the creeps, the more that nell'aldiquà afterlife. That day is transferred from Don Giovanni Gnocchi Niguarda, and when I look in the room hears that have been transplanted.

Day 26/08 return to the intensive care unit, and John comes to visit me. We are in different rooms but in the same department. At that moment, we are so close yet so far. I had made it. I had been transplanted. He does not yet ... I feel sorry for him. It was not possible that our fate, our paths, separated in this way. With my family we prayed for him. It deserved to resolve the situation!

day 9.1 comes the second recommendation for John, who is hospitalized in the room next to mine (36 read him, I read 35).

From: John
A: Maurizio
Received: September 1, 2010 17:06
They told me that maybe there's a heart for me

come and visit. I give comfort, give him loads. I tell him to hold on. I tell him I will the right time.

Mary, the wife of Juan Diego with my son

From: John
A: Maurizio
Received: 1 Sep 2010 23:18
Mauritius is perhaps the Once they're taking me right into the operating room fans for me and you're sure to win your friendship even though we've just attended one of the most important things, you know my house is your house so we will pay all the dumb and when we finish to the pirates to pay fora tabbiu Culu, I'm kidding you will pay yourself, you'll always be in my heart that I'm not in this change, but x x in both the house do not worry is mine. We feel, and above all we see and take you to eat horse meat, and of course I order you to pay, say hello to your wife hello.

At one-thirty in the morning I see him pass in his bed, destination operating room! John was planted exactly 14 days after me. The surgery went well. 8.9 The day falls in the resuscitation department. It 's a bit sore but doing well.

From: John
A: Maurizio
Received: September 8, 2010 16:46 am hello
Maurizio Catania a bit bigger than 'bruised but otherwise it would seem that this time we made it to 29 when we will have can come me. I thought so the effect of anesthesia plays these jokes I will hug you soon.

are discharged the day 9.9 and delivery for treason, where I go for my rehabilitation. The day was transferred to 9.16 Giovanni Tradate in the room next to mine. We are together until the day Tradate 06/10, because I come to resign and return to Niguarda urgency for a pericardiocentesis.

Now that I write to Niguarda and he is to betray. Probably when I will be discharged from Tradate in Genoa, or perhaps even a kind of shops. The next biopsies Niguarda not the same. Our paths seem to be divided at the moment. We promised to meet in Catania next year. Who knows what other tricks and coincidences give us life?

About John, before writing to him, happened to talk to him about this blog, my desire to write and tell my experience along this tortuous path.

He tells me that her period of "dark and difficult period of his illness he wants to remain just a memory, that only want to think about the future. Rather, it asks me to share with him and to publish in the net via my blog, a few lines, some thoughts directed to the location of donation and the extraordinary people who decide to become donors. He has already written a few lines, along with the review and complete it. The message that came out is the result of the near post. It is titled "Life is a wonderful gift." I mounted separately because I want a message that it remains accessible directly from a link , without mixing with other tales and stories.

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Reflections on the wagon and oxen

I am referring to my unfortunate post a couple of weeks ago: " not put the cart before the horse .

That post is born evil. It 's a message I wrote in a difficult time. I asked you readers to keep quiet, so arrogant. Your comments, in one way or another (mostly ad personam "), nevertheless arrived.

And the comments I received, but above all the comfort and support that has been my wife," inevitably lead to two conclusions:

• the first, is that the message has been misinterpreted . But I'm not meant to be a criticism of Sandra. The goal was to convey a message of hope and give them a jolt that is missing because he understood too little to take leave from exhaustion, sadness, depression. Re-reading the message today, I realize that I was not able to express myself properly.

• the second conclusion, my wife is right, this blog is that I have spoken highly of many people, but I've never been able to recognize all the efforts and sacrifices made during these long five months. The reality is that starting with my wife, and through my family (mother and uncle), support, patience, hard work, have been great and I do not think I'll ever be able to fully appreciate them and recognize them. They have been in a situation, in some ways, more complicated than mine. Where the patient suffers personally, physically and emotionally, our loved ones suffer physically due to his many commitments that are generated (trips to the hospital, work at home, children, etc.) and psychologically for impotence and uncertainty (in Unlike the ill, they do not "know" are not always aware of the state of the patient, care about at all hours of the day ...).

I apologize to my wife in particular, for the unfortunate article that I wrote. I hope to demonstrate that all these sacrifices are worth it, and that they'll be grateful for life. Although in my own way and with all my flaws.

Sandra
Today, October 12, 2010, I get home. After five many months, ricomincierà our life together!
You always say "people do not change." From my "rebirth" I always had the hope to clear all my faults and be a better person. Obviously it is not so easy.
I hope to make you happy as a husband and father of our children, for the rest of our lives.

Forgive
Every Day I Love You +

Your husband "corNovum"

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